Written by Mister Meaner
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Saturday, 6 October 2007

image for Michael Owen Called Up By England Despite Horrific List Of Injuries
Owen arrives for training

Michael Owen has been included in the England squad for the vital Euro 2008 qualifying games against Estonia and Russia, despite the fact that he is injured.

The Newcastle striker is recovering from groin surgery, a twisted ankle, a broken metatarsal, a dislocated shoulder, a swollen kidney, haemorrhoids, a chesty cough and a splitting headache, but has been named by beleaguered manager Steve McClaren in the 27-man party that must win both games to be sure of progressing in the tournament.

Owen is particularly prone to injury, and has spent more than half of his playing career either in the hospital, on the treatment table, in physiotherapy or outside the nurse's office with a plaster on his knee.

Magpies' boss Sam Allardyce told the BBC:

"I wince every time he runs out onto the pitch. He's made of glass, you know."

McClaren laughed as he admitted:

"He might be unable to run or even to move, but he's still our best hope!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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