Celtic have been forced by Uefa to play in red, white and blue, and sing all verses to God Save the Queen before every future Champion's League game following the disgraceful antics of AC Milan's goalkeeper Dida, who refused to join in goal celebrations with a harmless Celtic fan.
Uefa also ruled that due to Glasgow's isolated location on the celtic fringes of Europe, special dispensation would be made at future home games. All away teams must celebrate when Celtic score. Away keepers who refuse to join in will be fined and banned for two matches.
Celtic fans said the new kit and the Sassenach song was a small price to pay for being able to trounce opposition keepers and rub their foreign faces in it. They said they would even contemplate sexual relations with the Queen if that helped Uefa.
Celtic, whose fans include Cardinal Hugh Montefiasco, the real IRA, and Osama McLaden, have often been involved in scenes of harmless nationalism at home games.
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