Fernando Alonso crashed out of the Japanese Grand Prix this weekend and admitted his chances of winning this year's driver's championship are all but over - but he still has a cunning plan.
The race, held in unrelenting torrential rain, was won by the 14-year-old Briton Lewis Hamilton, giving the young lad a 12-point lead over Alonso with only two races left.
China - next weekend - and Brazil will be the Spaniard's only hopes of clawing back Hamilton's lead, but, a source close to the McLaren camp has revealed, Alonso plans to crash Hamilton out of the race.
"Ferdie believes there are plenty of opportunities on the Chinese circuit to smash into and get rid of Hamilton," says the source, adding "he wants to dispose of him once and for all. He calls him 'The Pesky Kid'."
Alonso, said the source, has been staying up until well after midnight planning The Pesky Kid's downfall, in a cave he lives in, high up in the mountains in Southern Spain. It's thought that the resultant lack of sleep is what caused him to crash out of this weekend's Grand Prix.
McLaren team boss Rod Nennis told reporters:
"I know nothing of this threat. We will be treating both drivers fairly, except that we will be treating Lewis just that little bit more fairly than Alonso."