Written by JimMcPhee
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Topics: Injury

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

image for Owen Out For Season After Road Accident
Whoops a daisy

Whocastle United and Ingerland Striker Pikey Owen has been ruled out for the rest of the season following a near-fatal road accident.

Initial reports indicate that Owen left his house as normal Wednesday morning as he left for a training session at Whocastle's Wieayeman Park. On approaching the kerb in front of his house, the soundwaves from the speakers of a nearby ice-cream van caused Owen to collapse on the floor, consequently smashing his right knee into the pavement and causing other multiple fractures.

Commenting on the injury, Whocastle Manager Sam Callthedice said, "It's another frustrating setback for the poor lad, I'm sure he feels like kicking himself, and is probably all too aware of the consequences." Callthedice also denied rumours that he recently lost his temper due to Owen freakish injuries. According to some anonymous sources, Callthedice was alleged to have screamed, "I've seen frickin ice skaters with cerebral palsy stay on their feet longer!"

In the meantime, Whocastle will call upon the highly-rated Bosnian striker Juss Gimmeethewages to deputise in Owen's absence.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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