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Monday, 15 March 2004

image for Kentucky Wins NCAA Tournament
UK head coach Tubby Smith.

Lexington, KY- In what is being called the "shortest March Madness ever," the top-seeded University of Kentucky wildcats have been awarded the NCAA mens basketball trophy, without playing a single tournament game.

"Well, we knew there was no point in dragging the contest out," said NCAA president Myles Brand, "since we knew the Wildcats could not be beaten."

In a press conference this morning, Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski said, "I'm not going to say we're not disappointed, but I think we've been spared a lot of heartache, since really, there's no freakin' way we could have beaten them. That's, of course, assuming we even made it far enough to play them at all. And anyway, how do you pronounce my name?"

UK students and fans were partying in the streets until late last night, the crowd teetering towards riotous. One Kentucky fan and UK alumnus, Chad White, said, "Go Big Blue!!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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