Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 20 September 2007

image for Abramovich next for red card says FIFA
Chelsea's John Terry wouldn't be that pissed if Abramovich was booted out according to reliable sources

Stamford Bridge - (EreWeGoEreWeGoEreWeGo Press): Russian billionaire mobster Roman Abramovich may be the next Chelsea man to get a red card according to FIFA officials who gave the nod late last night for Jose Murinho to get the boot after three years as the Beautiful Game's Special One.

Murinho was easily dumped with a £25 million send-off and is now being touted as the man who will replace Steve McLaren after FA officials put the knife in the England team's coach while the going is still good.

Abramovich meanwhile has been investigated by the Serious & Disorganised Crime Squad over forged Chelsea FC ownership papers which he bought off the club's alleged owner Ken "The Master" Bates, as the fraud cops like to call him.

If their hunches are right then Abramovich's purchase of the West London club is worth no more "than buying a stolen log book for a three-wheel Lada" according to our man at New Scotland Yard.

"What you are seeing here are the death throes of a massive New Labour Party asset heist masterminded by the John Major government which knew it was either the devil you know than all being charged with conspiracy to commit treason," a Thames House source said today.

Abramovich stands to have all his assets frozen as cops move in to relieve him of his privileged New Labour status as a bona fide non-domiciled expat.

"This weekend's Autumn Equinox could be a big turning point for the club," the source added with glee.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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