Written by Neilos
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Thursday, 20 September 2007

image for Mourinho Sacked - Lampard Blamed
Lampard in training yesterday

Following the shock departure of Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho last night, a source within the club has pointed the finger of blame at England midfielder Frank Lampard.

Lampard, famed for turning in incredible performances for his club while disappointing fans of his country, is accused by Chelsea physio Ron Ning of sparking a major dressing room argument about official allocations of fine pastries.

"Frank was fuming," Ning revealed. "After a couple of decent performances, Mr Abramovich was happy to raise his half-time supply to 4 Chicken & Mushroom and a Steak'n'Kidney, but Jose put his foot down. He said Frank had to really work for his pie, but that didn't go down well with the lads."

Several stars including fly-half Andriy Shevchenko and captain John Terry are said to have waded into the bust-up, claiming Frank needed the extra pies to keep his fitness levels down. And after the porky star drowned his sorrows with 17 Minced Beef & Onion specials at his local Pukka Pies stand, Mourinho was summoned to owner Abramovich's office where he was given the boot.

"It's a shame to see Jose go, but you can't keep a man from his pie," added Ning, as he stretched a screaming Shevchenko's hamstring to keep him out for a few more weeks. "We wish him the best of luck, of course. Well, everyone except Frank. Poor lad nearly starved."

A Chelsea spokesman declined to comment on the story last night.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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