Atlanta, Georgia (IP) Ex-Atlanta Falcons quarterback Vick has been released from prison and has been appointed as the new head of the NFL.
His first act as commissioner was to replace the old pig skin football with live dogs.
Quarter backs are having some difficulty adjusting to the new "balls". Many of them are complaining that it is difficult applying the proper spin to the odd shaped "ball".
Other players say it is humiliating for mega-stars and jock royalty like themselves to have a blast of anal emissions and pee cover their faces after letting the games central object loose. Others complain of having their fingers bitten.
The addition of the dogs has not made the game anymore exciting. It is still the same old crap over and over again. The Patriots are still cheating and the Dolphins are still losing. The wives of ardent football fans are still using game time to go out and have extra-marital affairs. The only real change is that the term "dog pile" has taken on a much more literal meaning.