Written by Mister Meaner

Print this

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

image for Abramovich Denies Offering £40,000 Incentives To Beat England
Where Roman made his money

Roman Abramovich, the owner of last year's Premiership chumpions Chelsea, has reacted angrily to allegations that he offered a substantial cash bonus to the Russian national football team players ahead of the Euro 2008 qualifier against England.

Abramovich, it has been claimed, offered each Russian £40,000 if they could beat England at the New Wembley Stadium, but the tycoon has denied this, saying the incentive was "nearer £50,000".

Chelsea, meanwhile, have indicated that filthy-rich Mr Abramovich, who is a "well-known joker", was joking, and that he would never try to influence the outcome of a game of football by "dangling money in front of players' noses like a carrot".

Peter Kenyon, the chief executive at Stamford Bridge, said:

"Comrade Abramovich is a fine upstanding individual who would never use cash to influence, persuade, sway or coax anyone away from a similar job at a club like Manchester United. It's just not ethical."

The Russian is a self-made rich person who made much of his enormous wealth by selling those stupid Russian dolls to tourists in Moscow, and shining shoes in his spare time.

A spokesman for Comrade Abramovich said this afternoon that the billionaire was unavailable for comment being, as he was, at home putting the finishing touches to his new money-printing press.

Make Mister Meaner's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 2?

1 6 15 19

Go to top