Roman Abramovich, ex-KGB oligarch and 74th most evil man on the planet, has left Chelsea in a rage, manager Avram Grant citing the billionaires reasons to be, in the Russian's own words as a disagreement with "that w****r John Cherry and an unnamed Israeli scum..."
Grant tailed off at this point, evidently having realised that his ex-boss had been talking about him. Such an unrivallable intellect.
He has decided to make a rebel European League, headed by his newly founded team FC Abramograd, inviting any clubs or players interested to speak to his agent.
The FA and UEFA have condemned the league, and implored no European club to join the rebels. An FA spokesman said that "no player or coach associated with the rebels will be considered for a position within our set-up.