Flushed Meadows, NY - A week after losing in the early rounds, Maria Sharapova has confided in The Spoof's Sports an exclusive story. Her early round losses at Wimbledon and now the U.S. Open were not due to her abilities waining, but because of her pining for something she cannot have, Roger Federer.
"I know its silly," said Maria, "But he's so cute when he smiles after beating someone, especially Roddick. I just wish there were some way he would...notice me. I know he has a fiance and all that, but surely he's not that perfect!"
We asked her what she would say to Roger if he responded to this article. "I'm sure he won't, he has too much class and besides, I'm certain Dad would never let him near me, but I do hope at some level he at least will know I care. Oh hell I might well say it! I want Roger Federer's babies! There now are you satisfied!"
Maria then shrieked something at us in Russian and the interview was over. Your move Roger!