Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 22 August 2007

image for England face 3-0 Germany thrashing
Has-been Beckham lines up tonight before the 90,000 capacity crowd

Wembley Stadium - (Ass mess): With David Beckham lining up in the squad for tonight's England v Germany exhibition match football pundits are warning of a 3-0 thrashing for the home team amid fears that the Galaxy player "is just plain rubbish these days".

"What's the point of putting in that hasbeen when Rooney, Gerrard and Hargreaves are absent?" shocked commentators asked today.

"Sure he was the golden boy of British soccer five, maybe ten years ago.

"But since 2006 he's been crap.

"No wonder he had to leg it pronto from Real Madrid to that dumb LA team that can't tell the difference between a man in his prime and the slippery slope to perdition," angry fans added.

"Maybe he should take up golf, or pingpong before it's too late?"

Tonight's match will be watched by a 90,000 capacity crowd and has been hyped as going the distance to emulate the 5-1 thrashing that England last gave the German side in a Wembley friendly.

Internet spread-betting index is giving odds of 3/1 on England losing by three goals to nil.

"But those prices are crashing down fast," a betting source warned this afternoon.

"Somebody's in the know and the dosh is pouring in on a collosal England defeat!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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