Written by Gail Farrelly
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Monday, 20 August 2007

image for Babe Ruth Tells Elvis Presley, Don't Be Cruel
Remembering The Babe, a diamond in the rough

At a press conference at Yankee Stadium yesterday, The Babe staged a brief return from the dead to complain that the noting of the anniversary of his death (August 16, 1948) always pales in comparison to that of Elvis Presley (August 16, 1977).

A reporter commented that Roy Orbison once said that Elvis was "the firstest with the mostest." A disgusted Babe shook his head from side to side and said, "Yeah, yeah, but what am I, chopped liver?"

Sharing is not on The Babe's list of favorite activities. "It's bad enough to share a date of death with someone famous," he complained, "but I can't even claim my birthday, February 6, all to myself." He whined that he has to share his February 6th birthday with Aaron Burr, President Ronald Reagan, and Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Plans are now underway for an 'out-of-the-ballpark' remembrance next year for the 60th anniversary of The Babe's death. He's hoping that, in 2008, Elvis will step aside, put away his blue suede shoes, and let him have center stage for once. "Don't Be Cruel," he's begging Presley.

When a reporter asked if he was sure that he could outshine Elvis next year, The Babe shrugged and replied, "I can only follow the advice I gave many times in life: Never let the fear of striking out get in your way."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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