Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 17 August 2007

image for Beckham Hailed As Messiah In LA
Beckham, with his new hairstyle

David Beckham scored his first LA Galaxy goal on Wednesday against DC United, and was immediately hailed not only as the club's Saviour but, indeed, the new 'Messiah'.

Beckham, 32, scored a trademark free kick, and then set up a second goal for Landon Donovan, to send his team into the SuperLiga final, a kind of cheap version of the Auto Windscreens Trophy.

It was sweet success for the England midfielder, who received great applause from the 17,000 crowd as he took to the field, which turned into a standing ovation when he bent to tie one of his bootlaces in the third minute.

One fan, Jasper Knownothing, at a football game for the first time, said:

"David was sooooo great! I enjoyed myself sooooo much! Why is the ball round?"

Veteran Galaxy fan Joshua Stromboli, 81, was enthusiastic about Beckham's performance:

"By Almighty God, he is our Saviour. He has been sent to us by the Lord himself. He is the Messiah! All kneel before Him!"

The chirpy Cockney himself warned that this was only the start of what he hopes will be a long winning run:

"We want to do the same thing again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and...er...er... again and again and...wotsit?...er...again and again and again" before turning to his wife Posh Spice and saying:

"Wicked 'ere, innit?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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