Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 13 August 2007

image for Manchester United Try To Sign New Improved 4-Year-Old Beckham
Please Sir, can I go to the toilet?

After a report on The Spoof over the weekend that David Beckham has, through jet lag, been regressed to the state of a 4-year-old, it has now emerged that Manchester United have approached LA Galaxy with a view to signing the player.

Only two weeks ago, United signed a 9-year-old, Rhain Davis, and have several more 'juveniles' in their sights, including Beckham's sons Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz.

Beckham Snr has, in the past, acted much like a 4-year-old, but is now, according to doctors, "clinically childish" as well as "clinically braindead". Interestingly, Beckham's wife, Spice Girl Posh Spice, has recently been likened to an 8-year-old.

LA Galaxy medical staff have disputed the news, and say that, even if it's true, it wouldn't have affected the team's decision to buy him, as Beckham was signed "merely as a publicity stunt".

Manchester United chief scout Alan Cradlesnatcher said:

"We are monitoring the situation and keeping an eye on the kids. The club would love to have David back here as that would prevent Chelsea signing him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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