Written by Gareth Carpenter
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Topics: England, sins

Wednesday, 3 March 2004

image for Hoddle rejects 'sinner' Saints
Hoddle - said Saints were 'shoddy'

Ex-England manager Glenn Hoddle has sensationally revealed the real reason why he has decided not to join Southampton - because he believes the south coast club is ‘suffering from sins it committed in a past life'.

"Southampton Football Club is actually the reincarnation of an ancient pagan sect that worshipped carrots, turnips and scarecrows," he said. "They wore red and white striped nighties and always struggled to fill their church on a Saturday. I could never associate myself with such a shoddy outfit."

Hoddle said the club was now 'paying the price' not only for its sins in its previous life but also those of its current one.

"Perhaps Saints' biggest sin was employing me for a while," he said.

In spite of his comments, Hoddle insisted that Southampton would be "much better off without him."

"They've currently got an ex-Portsmouth player as manager, so I don't think they can really better that," he said.

Hoddle said he was still looking for a job in football management but was keen to set his sights higher.

"I have an interview with the Bishop's Waltham under-12s side next week," he admitted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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