Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Thursday, 9 August 2007

image for Soccer's David Beckham signs for San Francisco 49ers
David Beckham training with the San Francisco 49ers earlier today

Pro Football is a cut throat business where millions can be won or lost with just one kick of the ball, now the San Francisco 49ers are gambling not just dollars but ultimately their reputation on World Soccer's David Beckham who Head Coach Mike Nolan believes could be the Niners secret weapon if it goes to the wire in a crucial play-off game.

"Well" Nolan said " We had our reservations obviously but after checking out video tapes of his free kicks in domestic and international soccer matches it became clear that David has what it takes to do the right thing under intense pressure, if one field goal can win us the superbowl then it will be 175 million well spent"

"And if he misses?" Nolan was asked at a hastily convened unveiling today at the 49ers magnificent stadium.

"I'm a dead man walking" he replied ashenfaced.

Beckham was quizzed on the new challenge that lies ahead and responded with cheerful optimism, "It's a challenge of course but like I've never shirked a challenge in me 'ole life, I went to Real Madrid an I could ardly speak Britain never mind Madridian but I came away wiv an undred million an I can order pie an chips in 4 languages now.

"American football should be easy enuff because like I played a bit of Rugby at school an that's wot this is really innit?

"Rugby for poofs with pads an' 'elmets an' fings."

While the networks scrambled to find interpreters Beckham added: "Anyway, all I ave to do is come on, take a few free kicks over the bar and I get an undred million a season an 40% of the shirt sales.

"An you lot fink I'm fick."

The 49ers play their first game of the pre season against Denver on August 13, Posh has not decided whether he will be fit or not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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