Written by david alsatian
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Wednesday, 8 August 2007

image for Blanket Ban leaves Eidur Down

FURIOUS Barcelona benchwarmer Eidur Gudjohnsen last night slapped in a transfer request after boss Frank Rijkaard sensationally banned his substitutes from keeping their legs warm with a blanket.

The hardline Nou Camp gaffer ceremonially burned all the club's blankets at training yesterday, claiming: "If you're not hard enough to put up with a slight chill, you can f*** off."

And that's what out-of-favour Gudjohnsen, 29, intends to do. He said: "It's not on. I'll spent all next season on the bench and it gets bloody cold in Spain come the winter."

Rijkaard's move also infuriated club sponsors Unicef.

A spokeswoman said: "Burning the blankets was typical Rijkaard - showy bastard. He could have given them to some Romanian orphans. Twat."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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