Written by The Hack
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Monday, 6 August 2007

image for Tissue sales in Manchester soar due to Gerrard
TISSUE

Today in Manchester sales of man sized tissues has risen by over 500 percent.

A spokesman from The Manchester United supporters club issued this statement, whilst fighting back the tears: "Those bloody scousers get away with murder. Steven Gerrard should of been sent off last night SOB SOB the way he viciously attacked that player was despicable SOB SOB

"United players would never act in such a way, here at our club we promote a fairness where violence will not be condoned. Wayne Rooney does not intimidate referees by shouting..'I will eat your Fucking kids Ref when I get home to Princess Fiona" and KEANOOOOO and King Eric were Angels compared to that evil shit Gerrard!"

Manchester United will be making a formal complaint to the FA, FIFA, and anyone else who will listen to them moan about the favoritism shown towards Liverpool Football Club.

The reasons are alleged to be that Manchester United constantly battle prejudice on and off the field, Scousers have everyone on their side including "The high council of Mars" and its just not fair I'm taking my ball home.

Court proceedings may be filed where Manchester United will grind down and intimidate everyone concerned until they get their own way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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