Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 2 August 2007

image for Joey Barton Charged With Exposing Himself
Cheeky chappy

Footballer and hatchet man Joey Barton has been charged with 'exposing himself' by police, after he displayed his backside following a match at Everton last season. A lesser charge of 'fouling in public' was placed on his file.

Barton, 24, then a Manchester City player, was leaving the field after a bruising encounter, when he appeared to drop his shorts, and 'curl one off' in front of the massed ranks of Evertonians. There was a near-riot, and police had to be called-in to quell the disturbance before it spilled over onto the pitch.

The Scouser, himself, claims that he couldn't wait to get to the dressing room to use the lavatory, and that his 'cheeky gesture' wasn't aimed specifically at the Everton fans.

"I just couldn't hold it any longer!" he said.

A close season signing for Newcastle, Barton is a footballing hothead who wears his heart, and often other players' hearts, on his sleeve. His enthusiasm to win a lost ball back, has to be seen to be believed.

Former Sky Blues manager Stuart Pearce said:

"Joey is a player a bit like meself. A psycho. But as far as 'avin a crap on the pitch goes - I wouldn't like to say until I've seen the tape on Match of the Day."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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