In a pre-season friendly over the weekend, Millwall fans went to Portsmouth and smashed up the town just a little bit.
The football teams didn't bother to turn up, and so the fans called it a draw, and smashed two pubs and a petrol station, instead of the usual mayhem.
A Pompey fan said, "We didn't expect to get off that lightly, as a draw usually means 5 or 6 pubs totalled, but they went easy this time, probably because it was a friendly. There was no real heavy malice as you would expect; and they left the petrol bombs at home, probably for the real thing in September."
A Millwall Army insider read a prepared statement, "The Millwall Army had an awayday at Portsmouth over the last weekend. As it was a pre-season friendly, knives, bottles and explosives were left back at base along with the usual petrol bombs. We gave a couple of pubs a very light battering and robbed a petrol station for the expenses. There were a few light skirmishes in the town centre, leaving the odd pompey scum with a couple of bruises. No tanks were deployed. We look forward to a fully competitive battle in September."
The police were not in attendance, as the Chief was on holiday.