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Monday, 30 July 2007

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Girly girl

Bagadad, Iraq (IP) - Warning: Fans of football other than the American style should get a box of tissue paper to wipe the tears from their eyes as they read this article. Fans of real football (as played by red blooded Americans) all agree that there is only one true football and that is played in the United States only. Other forms of the sport are merely effeminate wanna be derivatives and these include South American versions as well as the extremely sissified Arab forms and at the bottom of the list is Soccer which should only be played by women and small children.

American football players often go out at night bare footed and capture deer and elk and eat them raw. Their European and Arab counterparts sit around doing their nails and getting fancy hair do's and eat a diet of bon bons and cotton candy thus the well deserved girlyman reference.

Arab and South American fans of the lesser form of "football" and soccer are so frustrated by the lack of action and the obvious softness of their game that they often throw huge tantrums after their games are over resulting in the needless death of frantic, rabid fans who froth at the mouth and scream in a high girly pitch.

American football players often weigh in at near 400 pounds while their foreign counterparts weigh in at an average of 130 pounds. American football players routinely lift 130 pounds with each arm. American football players drive Humvees while their girlyman counterparts ride bicycles.

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