Written by Jean Le Fete
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Sunday, 29 July 2007

image for Andy Roddick Lets Connors Go, Hires Donny Osmond as New Coach
Osmond: "Andy needs to find his inner child and kick its ass!"

Just hours after losing a close semi-final in Indianapolis, Andy Roddick announced his latest coaching change.

Just weeks after suffering a devastating exit at Wimbledon, Roddick has been mulling his options. Jimmy Connors has helped him become a more complete player. He now comes to the net without fear and has a down the line back hand to be envied. But despite steady improvement and consistent ranking in the top 5 in the world, Roddick wants more.

Enter Donny Osmond, who has been a poker buddy of Roddick's for several years now. "Donny isn't a bad player for a hack," said Roddick talking about Osmond's tennis abilities, "but in poker its his mental toughness that impresses me, he shows no mercy. That's what I need to find during the tough spots in my matches."

Can Osmond get him there? "I know it sounds crazy," said Donny, "but I think I can help him the way Brad use to (Gilbert) only I'm a lot tougher," says Donny flashing his famous brilliant white smile.

"It was good for me as it was for him," said Connors of his brief stint with Roddick, "I think Donny can take him the rest of the way...Then again he can always sing to him to console him," smiles Connors.

Osmond's first duties, "Get him up for the Legg Mason. He's still bitching about Wimbledon, it caught him in Indy. He needs to get over it, and find his inner child and kick its ass!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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