Pro tennis playing sisters Venus and Serena Williams have failed multiple sex tests and finally been exposed as "not being female." While the tests do not prove conclusively that they are men, they will no longer be allowed to participate on the women's tour.
Andy Roddick, currently one of the top men's players in the world, was stunned by the announcement. "Do you mean I have to play against them? That causes shrinkage all by itself! When you say that, I can feel my testicles sucking back inside of my body. It's worse than if you told me that I would have to sleep with one of them."
The probe into determining the gender of the two stars was initiated when they signed up to play as partners in mixed doubles. On the sheet to checkmark for male or female, each checked both both boxes. This prompted officials to pull out the drug test that have not been used since the bearded East German women's teams used to play in the Olympics.
Scientists have yet to come up with a word to describe the two behemoth players, currently favoring the expressions "she-male" and "he-she."
In response to questions about the test results, Venus ate the camera while Serena ripped the arms and legs off of the reporter and begin and begin stuffing them into all of his bodily orifices.