Written by Johnny Ovaltine
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Saturday, 28 July 2007

image for Gary Coleman Stripped of Slam-Dunk Title
She's got a nice ass but she didn't stand a chance...

Saskatchewan, Mississippi-While it may take different strokes to move the world, it only took one man 40 minutes to dismantle every single NBA player at the International Championship Hall of Fame Slam-Dunk Competition. The victory was short lived however due to an unfortunate turn of events.

Coleman, who enjoys a vertical leap of 67 inches, was handily leading in all areas including style, grace and originality of the dunk. Hall of Famer and sportscaster Patrick Ewing who was calling the event said Gary looked, "...Basketballistically incredible. The trophy was all his until the final dunk."
The fans looked on in awe and the pint-sized wonder launched himself from the top of the key and executed a perfect triple back flip half somersault with a twist while passing the ball behind his back and under his legs and ending with a gorilla dunk. The arena fell in complete silence as they recognized the signature move of the legendary Tricky Ricky.

Spud Web, who had been very supportive of Coleman when he said he would compete in the event, became very critical of the little man. "Look, we have to use our God-given talents out there. Bringing that special training that he got from the Trickster into the event just degrades it value. I'm very disappointed."

A spokesman for the charity event to benefit the Guys Going Fishing on the Weekend Fund said it was a sad day for the sporting world indeed. "We had already stamped his name on the trophy before the competition had finished. Who would have thought he'd been cheating the whole time."
When we spoke to Ricky he had this to say. "I should have known better that to train him, he's still just a grasshopper and even though I just taught him a simple breathing technique, that's still too much power for him to yield. He's out of control and it's my fault. I'm so sorry." It's rumored that Tricky Ricky learned the move from Yoda.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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