Llandudno, Wales - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Llandudno Rugby Club was issued with inflatable sheep today and ordered to use them instead of children as jockeys in an annual donkey derby.
This is the first time in the 39 years of the race's running that insurers have insisted on the measure which they say is naturally close to the daily proclivities of the average Welshman anyway.
The club's Robin Holden said a lot of his Welsh fellow rugby players were bitterly disappointed by the order but had no choice in complying.
Some dissent was voiced among the ranks of the sportsmen when one of the sheep was replaced by an inflatable orangutan "which looks like a dead ringer for the Coach's wife" according to one wag.
Holden added that the club came up with the idea of "putting some sort of inflatable objects on the donkeys" because he knew for a fact that all the specialised sex shops in Cardiff had plentiful supplies of blow-up lambs and sheep "this being Wales after all".
"However one of the sheep spontaneously came to grief after a trial run by our Fly Half," Holden continued, "and had to be substituted by an orangutan.
"Nobody really minded in the end."