Written by Sacrament
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Topics: Tour de France

Friday, 27 July 2007

image for Rarleigh Choppers Sponsor 2008 Tour De France

Smart and fast moving Marketing executives have saved the Tour De Fraance from total and complete disaster by announcing they are to sponsor next years Tour.

William Danson Senior Marketing Manager for the Chopper Brand explains: "Clearly the whole ethos and spirit of the Tour has been totally dragged through the gutter over the drug cheats and the ridiculous technologies employed. Our deal is very simple. We pile up 50 Choppers.They are all the same, all the same colour, simple gears. The riders all start on the base line, we shout go, they all run over, jump on and off they go."

The Tour De France Marketing Team are enthused by the development.

It will open up the Tour to a wider audience, and we will also be including specialist trick riding stages.

There has also been a strong representation from the skate board association to allow freestyle skate borders to compete and have their own competition as well as compete in the tour.

Team Nadralone Boss Steffan Gruendenwalderstein who represents the Professional Cyclists Association has condemned the plan.

"ITS A BLOODY OUTRAGE. BLOODY CHOPPER BIKES!" raged the reformed steroid abuser

The organisers also had another major boost when two new teams were quick to sign up..

Team Chav based in Kings Lynn Norfolk spoeksman Troy Sweeney aka Dice wiv def said"We is wicked and we is gonna win the race.Alright!" announcing they had pooled their giros to fund their training and special "fluids and late night kebab" sessions.

"Listen man, deh say that you gotta eat 10,000 calories a day man, so we is putting Fat Boy infor dat ..thats eating like 10 bigmacs,large fries and choclate meals and 10 pints of lager.He dont do diets normally but his is ready to make sacrifice"

Urban Street Warriors the chopper gang from Lower Tootingham Broadwark were a little more up beat..

"Its a sweet operation. Dem Tour Boys are major league class A users man, and we is the crew to satisfy the battle cry "I feel the need for speed"...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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