Written by Monkey Woods

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Topics: Leeds United

Thursday, 26 July 2007

image for Leeds United To Start New Season Minus A Goalkeeper
Shit Creek, West Yorkshire

Leeds United, the once-great giants of European football, as well as the English domestic game, face starting their League One campaign without a recognised custodian of the net.

The Elland Road club, still officially in administration, have not paid their ramshackle bunch of journeymen and misfits since the end of last season, and are the subjects of a transfer embargo which prevents them from making any permanent signings until it is lifted.

The Whites lost all three of their games on a pre-season tour of Germany, conceding 22 goals in the process, and beleaguered manager Dennis Wise knows that the likes of Leyton Orient, Northampton Town and Walsall will be no pushovers either.

Leeds assistant manager Gutsy Poet said:

"We're up Shit Creek. Without a paddle. We may have to recall Gary Sprake."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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