The International Olympics Committee (I.O.C. ) have given the go-ahead for the Steroid and Drugtakers Olympics to take place.
Various nations are vying for the honour of hosting the alternative games with Columbia or Afghanistan being the early front runners. A spokesman said: "Lets face facts, athletes take drugs to enhance performance, always have, always will. These Games get the "doping" issue out in the open and make it a even playing field. Take what you like with no fear of penalty"
Bookmakers are already offering odds of 3 to 1 on that the 100m sprint record will be smashed, along with most of the competitors.
There will also three sex/gender categories, the usual male and female, but also "Un proven either way".
There are some sports which will not be taking place: "We have decided that major contact sports like boxing will not be taking place.Imagine some guy pumped up on Angel Dust getting into the ring and losing it.Someone could get hurt"
A spokesman the Gutterello Cartel speaking from their fortified bunker somewhere near Daz ala Plaz commented: "Mucho deniro. Mucho senorita, mucho persona. Mucho snow sales".
Following the announcement the sponsors held an emergency Marketing Communications meeting attended by all senior executives and announced that they would not be sponsoring the event. "Things go better with Coke" is seen as wholly the wrong message.
Irish Brewers are also considering pulling out as the famous "I here for the craich" is also considered too risky.