The Tour De France was rocked again to-day with the amazing news that Gaston Pricard, number two rider with Team Clean has passed a drugs test following his unexpected win in the uphill/down hill, time trial.
The race testers are considering lodging a complaint with the Tours committee. "This guys had the piss taken out of him for winning"..explaining how the random tests work. "We want him up on a charge of wasting time.Its the first test that anyone has completed and passed. We had to check the equipment,then re check it and check it again, First of all we thought the gear was broken, but a test carried out on another rider carried out at the same time detected several banned drugs.
"Having found the other guys urine full of a rare mix of banned performance enhancing drugs, we simply didn't believe Pricards test. NO one passes drugs test these days, It really took us by surprise."
The unlikely victory came about when the lead pack of riders who were some three kilometers ahead of Gaston suddenly slowed and a following a loud exchange of curses the riders dismounted and started punching each other.
A Senior Tour doctor didn't seem surprised. Steroid rage is thought to have been the catalyst for the altercation which saw Pricard ride to victory.
"Its great for me, but not so great for them " he commented. "Listen I dont do drugs. Its wrong, Its immoral and my team would not entertain such underhand tactics to try and win the bike race."
However others were not so calm...
"ITS AN OUTRAGE" bemoaned one of the other competitors "HE WON IT FAIR & SQUARE WHICH ISN'T FAIR. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO JUSTIFY THE $1000 PER INJECTION TO OUR TEAM SPONSORS WHEN A BLOKE WINS IT WITHOUT CHEATING..."
he screamed whilst foaming at the mouth, and followed by seconds on vacant staring and mutterings about Bogey men in the wheel arches.