Written by Kent Pete
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Topics: John Terry, Chelsea

Monday, 23 July 2007

image for "I'm not afraid of my feminine side" claims Terry
John Terry yesterday.

John Terry, the 26 year old Chelsea and England defender, known throughout the game for his tough tackling and heavy drinking, has shocked the footballing world by claiming he is no longer embarrassed to express his feminine side.

Talking to us from the roof of his Holland Park mansion Terry said, "I don't know if it's marrying Toni that has done it but more and more I'm finding my feminine side is coming to the fore. We are so much in love. It is sometimes difficult to know where she ends and I start. Friends are even saying that we are beginning to look like each other."

Sporting a low cut bra and a "Marjorie Dress" Mrs Terry, formerly Toni Poole of Bedlingtons, supported Terry's claims stating that, "he was becoming more feminine".

"I often come in from work to find John filing his nails and pampering his Frederick's . Yes he is a changed man and better for it in my view....He hasn't passed wind socially for a fortnight ".

Terry is hoping his new found gentleness and softness does not diminish his footballing skills. He admits that when he sees video clips of fellow nancy boy Christiano Ronaldo running down the wing his natural inclination is now to sort out his split ends rather than "hack the bastard down", but he believes once he takes to the pitch, the "old tezza will come through".

Chelsea fans throughout Britain will be praying that this is indeed the case.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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