Written by Warren Redlich
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Saturday, 14 July 2007

image for Jenna Jameson Runs Marathon
Mayor McCallion welcomes Jenna Jameson

Jenna Jameson will run a marathon in Mississauga Ontario tomorrow. The former porn star says she is training so that she can try out for the US Olympic team for 2008.

Jameson ran well for her high school cross-country team in Las Vegas, winning several long distance events as a freshman. As she matured, she focused her attention on boys instead of sports, and lost interest in running.

In the past few years Jameson found the joy of running again. With the physical demands of her porn acting career tailing off (she is still a successful producer), she began running again, first in Scottsdale and more recently on the Malibu coast. Interviewed in Mississauga today, Jameson said that her porn career helped prepare her for marathons. "We'd have a lot of long, hard sessions making our films. Some of those guys are really hard to get off - it takes a lot of stamina."

Having completed several 5K events and a couple half-marathons, Jameson now feels it's time for her to start doing full-blown marathons.

Meanwhile, the city of Mississauga is enjoying a sudden burst of tourism as thousands of men from all over North America have flown in to watch Jenna run. Optics stores have sold out of binoculars and grocery stores are reporting vegetable oil shortages. Mayor Hazel McCallion welcomed Jameson personally and said she was happy to have "this lovely young hooker bringing attention to our fair city."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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