FRANCE (Le spit on use, Englise dogs) -- Tour de France riders in the peloton are speaking in English! Ces chiens.
It has finally happened: Le Tour, always in French, has bastardised into near perfect English. "It's bad enough the controller aircraft of the tower communique is in Englise," said Philippe Gildass, a grape hopper.
"Don't let Le Tour de France become The French Tour," pleaded an emotional parlementaire Montcalm Duquesne, tears streaming down his face, "I will give up my mistress to see that not happen."
Latter reports from Monsieur Duquesne's mistress, mademoiselle Fifi said he will be sleeping in "Le gutter" tonight.
The Tour proceeds -- as it always does...