League One side Port Vale made an audacious swoop into the transfer market yesterday when they secured the services of two Robbies - ex-Liverpool, Man City, Leeds and England striker Robbie Fowler, and the ex-Take That and current drug-crazed popstar homo Robbie Williams.
Fowler is reputed to have struck a deal that will cost the club £10,000-a-week, and Williams one that will provide him with all the 'coloured candy' his little heart could desire.
A Port Vale fan since he was in nappies, which he sometimes still wears, Williams has always dreamt of playing for his favourite team, and is sure to be a big asset 'around the midriff', although he's also well-known for 'getting stuck in at the back'.
Vale manager Martin Foyle told fans on the club's official website:
"Robbie Fowler will score an awful lot of goals for us this season, whilst that other pansy dipshit is bound to bring a few more through the turnstiles, even if it's just to see how gayly spaced-out he can get."