The Carlos Tevez saga continues to fill the back pages of the UK papers, although to be honest there's not much else happening in sport at the moment, but the latest twist stunned assembled reporters, including yours truly for The Spoof.
Sir Alex Ferguson, attending a charity match at Liverpool's ageing and decrepit Anfield Stadium, stated about Carlos that "The lads so ugly he could have played for Liverpool in the 80's."
Peter Beardsley was said to be especially upset and muttered something that no one could understand, whilst Kenny Dalglish also ranted for a good few minutes with only a few words being decipherable. Kevin Keegan said "I'd love it if we beat them, just love it!" Although when it was pointed out to him that he's no longer a football manager he burst out crying and left the room.
Alan Hanson promised to do something or other, but to be honest I was bored with him directly he opened his mouth.
Only Graham Souness made any sense, stating quite clearly "Let me at him, I'm going to f***ing kill him," before being dragged away by Ian Rush who was heard to say "Leave him, he's not worth it."