Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 9 July 2007

image for Hull Bingo Derby Degenerates Into Game Of Rugby League
Eyes down! Don't mess with this guy

The Rugby Football League are to investigate yesterday's goings-on at the Super League clash between Hull Kingston Rovers and their cross-city rivals Hull FC at Rovers' Craven Park stadium.

The Hull Derby is the only sporting fixture that can be truly relied upon to provide 'fisticuffs' for afficionados of the art.

As usual, there was violence, with hundreds of fans from both teams ploughing into each other on and off the pitch, in the traditional 'Northern windmill' style, and police say there were "too many injuries to mention".

The League, however, are interested in the events other than the crowd ruckus, when the 'bingo' degenerated, disgracefully and despicably, into a game of Rugby League. Both teams took to the field, and fighting fans had to vacate the playing surface, to a chorus of boos from other supporters viewing from the stands.

Hull FC, the Airlie Birds, beat their neighbours Rovers 30-20, and it's this disgusting display of sporting competitiveness that the authorities will be scrutinising when they meet next week.

Rovers fan Edward Smith, who also 'plays' for Hull City thugs during the football season, said:

"They ought to stop these rugby players. It's the same week-in, week-out. Rugby, rugby, rugby. Haven't they got anything better to do?"

Another Robin, John Smith, said:

"It started out of nothing. Then, in no time at all, there were men running in all directions throwing an egg-shaped ball about. It was absolute pandemonium. Something should be done about it!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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