Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 29 June 2007

image for Hull City And The Curse Of Death
Juninho could fit in here

Championship side Hull City have lost out at the eleventh hour in in an audacious bid to bring the Brazilian World Cup football star Juninho to their KC Stadium - due to an ANCIENT CURSE.

The deadly curse is thought to be one that affects 'once decent' players who have then transferred to Hull near the ends of their careers. Billy Bremner, Emlyn 'Crazy Horse' Hughes and Arsenal's David 'Rocky' Rocastle all succumbed to the curse after moving to Boothferry Park. Ray Parlour recently left the club after finding out about the curse.

Juninho's agent has spoken to the player about his options, and particularly the one about trying to avoid a grisly end in East Yorkshre.

A former Middlesbrough and Celtic player on these shores, he went back to Brazil in 2005 and is currently on the dole.

Juninho, real name Osvaldo Giroldo Junior, was known as TLF (The Little Fella) at Middlesbrough due to his lack of height. At sixteen inches high, he is the shortest player ever to have played in the English or Scottish leagues.

Whilst on Teeside, he lived with his parents in a back-to-back slum house, and played football in the streets with local children, but gave up when he couldn't get the ball off them.

Hull are curently 10th in the Championship, and challenging for an early-season play-off spot. They need to bolster their squad for the final push towards the Premiership.

Tigers manager Phil Brown, speaking on Radio Humberside, told listeners:

"We'd love to sign The Little Fella, but we don't want another funeral on our hands."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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