Written by Neilos
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Saturday, 23 June 2007

image for Lewis Hamilton Wins Again
A horse, of course.

Formula One sensation Lewis Hamilton has won again - this time at Royal Ascot.

Despite his only experience of all things equine being a donkey ride in Blackpool last week, young Lewis found himself toe-to-toe with racing's betting elite, trading win for loss with such legends as John McCririck and Dame Ellen McArthur.

"I'm still in my rookie weekend... wahey, I won again!" the young British racer revealed as he watched hot favourite Alonslow trail in second to outsider Elite n00b in the 3:45. "I can't talk about winning a bet on the National yet, but there might come a time when I have to accept that it could be a possibility.

McLaren team boss and Ladbrokes owner Ron Dennis looked on proudly as Hamilton stacked up the wins, but ordered the well-fancied Speedy Macca to slow down in the 4:15, allowing Disappointing Champ to win.

"I felt if Speedy Macca had gone down the inside close to the rails we might have had an incident," Ron droned. "And Lewis had a big accumulator resting on that horse, so it was a pretty canny business move too. I'm not a bloody charity."

Racing Legends have expressed amazement at Hamilton's blistering start. Frankie Dettori has already called the young charger 'amazing', and even Seabiscuit hopped out of his grave to share a nosebag with Lewis. At this rate, a successful punt on the National will come sooner rather than later for Britain's newest superstar.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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