Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 21 June 2007

image for Andy Murray A Certainty For Wimbledon, And Will Win, Says Coach Brad Gilbert
Andy Schwarzenegger

Andy Murray will definitely play at Wimbledon, and stands as good a chance of winning the Men's Singles title as anyone else, says his coach.

"He is a great player, and has massive potential", said American Brad Gilbert whilst busily strapping the young, bad-tempered Scot's injured right hand, adding "but he'll have to wait until next year."

Murray has been suffering from a particularly bad case of "tennis elbow" sustained whilst "having a shower" after finishing a practice match against fellow Men's contender and World Wrestling Champion Amalie Maurismo.

"As long as he looks after himself, stays fit and healthy, and exercises more care with his wounded right hand when masturbating, there's absolutely no reason on Earth why Andy shouldn't win the Men's title in 2008", he went on.

American Andy Roddick, is in with an excellent chance to win his first Wimbledon, and is amongst the 'favourite Andys' to become the first 'champion Andy' this century.

The latest betting is as follows:

    8-15 Andy Federer

    3-1 Andy Roddick

    4-1 Andy Murray

    8-1 Andy Warhol

    10-1 Andie McDowell

    16-1 Andy Williams

    20-1 Andy Capp

    25-1 Andy Pandy

    50-1 Andy Peters

    100-1 Andy from Toy Story

    500-1 Tim Henman

Provided it doesn't rain.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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