Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 21 June 2007

image for Reggie Theus New Sacramento Kings Head Basketball Coach

The Sacramento Kings have been in existence in Sacramento for only 23 seasons. Reggie Theus was announced today as their 21st head coach. Considering that one coach led the team for eight seasons, longevity is not sure thing for this club.

Theus signed a 3 year contract that is may not last through the six month rental agreement on his apartment. "I can only hope that we start winning immediately so that my I don't have to break my lease and lose the security deposit."

Reggie has a history with the team, that may help him. He did play five years in Sacramento and did score the first basket in club history.

When asked what his goals were for the team, Theus said that he hoped to take them to at least the NIT the first season and to be a perrenial NCAA tournament selection after that. Reminded that the NBA did not participate in either of those tournaments, he remarked that "Yeah, but if I wanna win and keep my job, I'm going to have to move these guys to a different level."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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