Written by Kick-Butt Moron
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Tuesday, 19 June 2007

image for Jordin Sparks Football Magic!
Jordin Sparks in her new kit...

New Yawn (US&A): After a great run of form in the reality T.V singing competition American Idle, vocal witch Jordin Sparks has decided to retire from the music world to pursue another cherished profession, football.

The 18 year old diva, popular among the common folk for her beautiful voice and HUGE body, has signed a contract with her dad, Phillippi Sparks' team, for a term of 5 years, earning a cool 3 million bucks. She will obviously be the best possible choice for a quarter back position with her physique. But we have also heard that some of the other team-mates are upset with this bit of news coz they've been "replaced by a girl".

This new deal between the team management and Jordin is a record of sorts, coz not only is she the highest paid female footballer in a men's league, but she's the only female footballer in a men's league. Feeling that this move of Jordin's will make her more famous than him, Nate Kidding of Sandy-eggo has decided to have a sex change to steal her thunder.

When asked to comment on this revealing news, Randy Dawg(judge-American Idle) said,"ya know dawg, she's got a strong voice dawg, she can like, blow you away dawg. She can blow away the opponents by singing on their faces dawg."

Judge Paula Ab-dull said,"you know we are all so proud of her...I promise I'm not drunk...I love you Jordin".

Judge Simon Coward had this to say, "I bet she wants to thank American Idle for her successful career. Now get lost u smelly piece of cowdung".

We wish Jordin all the best with Football and we wish all her opponents best of luck, coz they're gonna need it.

Kicking off,
-kickbutt morons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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