Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 18 June 2007

image for Beckhams poised to announce Scientology conversion
Lo! a miracle was foretold for Beckham and wife Victoria

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Just hours after partying in a Madrid night club into the small hours with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ex-England football captain David Beckham and wife Victoria are poised to announce their conversion to Scientology after an 'extraordinary miracle' in theri lives.

The golden couple of football are moving to LA to live in the same road as their Scientology sponsors and are said to have found spiritual salvation after Cruise performed a special healing massage upon Victoria which apparently 'melted away her silicone breast implants' and replaced them with her own rejuvenated 34DDs.

"Tom laid his hands in a deeply spiritual manner and performed the Scientology healing rite," a spokesman said today.

"He then prepared her orifices in the traditional manner laid down by his church before anointing her with his sacred bodily fluids.

"All the time Victoria's husband David watched on with pride and video recorded the sacred event for posterity.

"After a gruelling five minutes of preparations Victoria and Tom became as one and Lo! her implants just melted away and her breasts were restored unto her as foretold in the scriptures.

"The happy Beckhams are now awaiting the birth of their fourthborn."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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