Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Andy Roddick

Saturday, 16 June 2007

image for Roddick threatens lawsuits over George Bush paternity story
Roddick has guarded the secrets of his Bush paternity

Queens Club, London - (Ass Mess): A livid Andy Roddick threatened hellfire damnation lawsuits at anybody repeating the story that George W Bush is his blood father.

Roddick is about to play in the Stella Artois Championship final at the Queens Club in London and interrupted his match preparation to tell the press today that he will sue the hell out of anybody even daring to suggest a bloodtie connection between himself and the hoary old warmonger masquarading as the 43rd US president.

Despite a steady stream of British reporters' questions about where the sponsorship money came from during his teenage training years as a fledgeling tennis wannabe Roddick has remained tight-lipped.

Asked about a money paper-trail that linked him during the early 1990s to a financial network of accounts whose sole signatory was George W Bush in his pre-Texas Governor days Roddick turned beetroot red with rage and began foaming at the mouth at the merest suggestion of covert nepotism in his career.

He then lashed out at press suggestions that his mother had had a brief but fateful fling with Bush which was the direct cause of his parents' divorce shortly after bloodtests confirmed he was indeeed Bush's spawn.

But this has not been enough for UK reporters to back down over the allegations which first began to surface when Bush recently appointed Roddick to a national sports ambassadorship which will see him elevated to senior sports statesman when his meteoric tennis career eventually goes down the pan.

A BBC sports news item today said the Bush appointment was only one of several sources that had led British investigative journos to the secret behind the Roddick enigma which had produced every time the conclusion that Bush must be Roddick blood father.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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