NEW YORK (New York Toast) - Infamous former American sports commentator, How'weird Gross'smell, was buried this weekend. It turns out that he had actually passed away twelve years ago, but his remains were accidentally left in a seldom-used wing of the city morgue.
This is the highest-profile incident involving a dead elderly person and no one bothering to check up on them -- a somewhat alarming new trend in the United States.
"We believe relatives just assumed he was alive as they occasionally heard his voice over on old sports reels," said NYC Mayor 'Daddy' Warbucks. Continued the 2006 Forbes magazine 'richest fictional character': "I sure hope that somebody realizes when I'm dead."