LOS ANGELES - After a surprise weekend ruling against Floyd Landis on charges that he cheated during last year's Tour de Franz, the professional cyclist appealed to the next higher court yesterday.
Appearing on the hit TV show 'The People's Court', Mr. Landis approached the bench and insisted that he could prove his innocence -- with a stool sample.
Despite Judge Wapner's objections and an attempt by Rusty the Bailiff to stop him, Landis stood atop the judge's desk and dropped his pants to reveal yellow boxers (alluding to his Tour win). He then squatted to deposit a large crap squarely on the presiding judge's desk, completely clearing out the proceedings.
"I am clean, I tell you!" he shouted as he was dragged away.
Outside the courtroom, reporter Doug Llewelyn admitted that this was indeed the strangest case he had ever seen.