Written by Red Dwarf
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Monday, 2 February 2004

image for Sheik Unvak Buys Leeds United
Leeds rescued

The Saudi Arabian Sheik today bought the struggling Premiership side Leeds United. Speculation has been rife with many other Middle Eastern sheiks, such as Sheik Yabuti, also attempting to buy the club. But Sheik Unvak who has paid the total of 42p out bid all other competitors.

Sheik Unvak promises that he will put the freshness back in Leeds and lead them to the top half of the premiership.

But many Leeds fans will ask who is this mystery sheik and why has he bought Leeds? Well Unvak made his money in his native Saudi Arabia where he has the monopoly on carpet cleaning products, but why he wanted to buy Leeds so much (he paid almost 2 months worth of the entire team's wages) remains a mystery.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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