Written by Daiving Crapp
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Tuesday, 22 May 2007

image for Football Association To Award FA Cup To Manchester United After Goal Gaff!
Not A Football

Reports are emerging this morning that the Football Association have stripped Chelsea of the FA Cup and have instead awarded it to Manchester United after Didier Drogba's goal was deemed as invalid.

In a bizarre twist, It has been revealed that the Ivorian striker did not score what was supposed to be the winning goal as it turns out that the ball being used was not a ball at all!!

On closer inspection, it has been theorised that a chicken from a nearby McDonalds had escaped the cooking process and had somehow found its way onto the Wembley pitch, where it was mistaken to be the match ball by Drogba, who immediately dispatched the chicken into the back of the net.

Sadly, the chicken died instantly due to the impact of the Ivorian's boot against its body and was not realised for what it was until the match was over.

"In all my years as a football analyst, I have never expected such an incident to ever take place. In fact, it was far beyond my wildest dreams to even envision such a possibility" said BBC pundit Garth Crooks after the scandal broke out.

Rumours have begun circulating that the chicken was brought into the stadium by a fan, although such a theory is currently confined in the realms of speculation for the moment.

When hearing of the FA's verdict, both managers displayed contrasting views and emotions as to such a radical turn of events. As expected, Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho talked about conspiracies and how the referees were now resorting to unorthodox methods to help Manchester United win, whereas Sir Alex Ferguson was jubilant and exclaimed that the best team received the cup at the end.

An investigation is expected to commence early next week in an attempt to discover the source of the chicken's infiltration onto the pitch. The Wembley security staff have requested for the assistance of the police officers from surrounding boroughs so as to ensure a clean and swift end to this farce.

More details should emerge over the next few days as to how such an incident is to be handled. Chelsea will most likely appeal the decision made by the FA although such an appeal is bound not to go far.

For the moment, the police have classified the case under "Suspicious Circumstances", although it has been revealed that they have not ruled out fowl play.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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