Written by Blind Fool -••-
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Topics: Super Bowl, Cowboy

Wednesday, 28 January 2004

image for Players At Super Bowl To Wear Cowboy Boots, Among Other Changes
Artist Rendition Of Super Bowl XXXVIII's "Texas Flare" Changes

HOUSTON, TX-In a last-minute press conference, NFL officials are announcing that all football players will be forced to wear cowboy boots instead of cleats during the big game.

Practices have been very awkward as the pros attempt to run, jump and tackle with the commemorative western stompers on.

"Kicking fieldgoals is impossible. I've shanked every attempt. This is a big load of crap and the NFL owners are a bunch of greedy fat cats," said an unidentified Panthers player on the condition of anonymity.

It's rumored that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady may have broken an ankle.

The current theory as to why the NFL has dictated the uniform change is that polling data show that viewership will be down because the two teams that everybody really wanted to play, the Colts and Eagles, are not in the game.

Another change that will raise some eyebrows is that a full grown bull will be roaming the field looking for victims. The raging behemoth is a bull-fight and rodeo reject that has killed twelve people and a shark.

The last change which will be less noticeable but maybe more affective is that the field will be infected with millions of fire ants. And these are no ordinary fire ants, they are a fierce cross-breed known as Killer Ants.

Killer Ants came to Texas from Mexico where they were originally bioengineered from normal fire ants when blasted with radiation. They broke out of their three-inch thick modified glass ant farm and have been migrating northward ever since.

These changes should give viewers plenty of action to watch and keep them entertained between commercial breaks.

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