In an astonishing development over the weekend, the English Football Association has announced that, after a nightmarishly boring FA Cup final at the New Wembley stadium on Saturday, next year's final will revert to the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff.
The event was an unmitigated disaster, as Melchester United and Chelsea laboured over a 0-0 draw, which then went into extra time. Supporters of both teams harangued their chosen overpaid primadonnas, and many had decided enough was enough and left the stadium long before Didier Dogdirt managed to steer the ball home for the winner with four minutes of extra time to go.
When the final whistle went, there was almost total silence, and the teams begrudgingly climbed the 107 steps to collect their medals from Kate Middleton's ex-boyfriend. By the time John Terry lifted the Cup aloft, the stadium was almost deserted.
FA spokesman Graham Tedium said:
"The stadium was one year late being built, and now it's finished it's crap. There was no atmosphere, the seats were uncomfortable and the pitch cut up like muddy melted butter. We'll be going back to Cardiff next year."
The fans weren't happy either. Chelsea follower Harry Palmer said:
"The game was rubbish and so was the stadium. To top it all, the burgers were extortionately overpriced. I paid £11.50 for a cheeseburger."
United fan Alan Scumbag went further:
"There was a pubic hair in mine!"