Written by Daiving Crapp
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Topics: London, Arsenal, Mafia

Monday, 21 May 2007

image for Arsenal In Shock Takeover Bid By London Underworld
Motto of the London Underworld

In a shocking new development, Arsenal Football Club will become the first club to be bankrolled by the London Underworld, should a deal be agreed.

The announcement was made earlier this morning by former chairman, David Dein, who was relieved of his duties a month ago due to conflicting philosophies.

It has now come to light that Dein was actually sacked for initially making contact with various underworld figures with a proposal for investment in the North London club so as to prevent it from joining the bandwagon of clubs under the ownership of foreign nationals.

"I feel that we have to retain the image of this club being a shining example of English efficiency and pride and therefore I have arranged this deal, which has come about at the cost of my job as chairman" said Dein when interviewed by The Sun Newspaper earlier this week.

The move is bound to stir up mixed feelings from the public as there will de dissenting voices that support the idea of the so-called "Mafia Ownership" while there would be others who would stick to the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" philosophy.

Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, was unable for comment as he was away on holiday in the French Riviera. It remains to be seen if he would welcome the influx of tainted money into the club or continue with his youth policy, which has been working wonders for the club.

Arsenal fans worldwide have voiced their doubts as to whether such a controversial move would be seen as a step in the right direction as they fear that the squad would be asset-stripped so as to further enhance the already-bountiful coffers of the London Underworld.

Spokesmen for the prospective new owners of the club were unavailable for comment at the moment but more details should emerge as the takeover bid progresses.

Watch this space.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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